I think it’s a misconception that people have about writing … that there is inspiration in everything we do. Unfortunately, there isn’t always inspiration to write, even when the experience is good. Sometimes, the experience is even poor, and while some b**** and moan and complain about the experience, it doesn’t always press us towards writing. And then, well, there are the others who don’t care about the other side, who only voice their opinion to voice it, no matter whether there’s inspiration or not – they just want to be heard – and they like to hear themselves talk.
That’s just not me.
For me, inspiration is about feeling, about emotion, about relationships. Inspiration is strength – Inspiration is love.
So, I don’t write as much as before, and I don’t, not because I don’t appreciate my experiences, because I do, but rather, I think it’s because I just haven’t been feeling very much. Of anything. I post on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter – but these venues don’t require much thought, much feeling, many words. Blogging does.
For six months now, Christopher Hoggatt has been the placeholder on my blog. People search, people find me, people read about him and click over to other posts about him … I just couldn’t let him go. And, maybe I still can’t … won’t … haven’t found the feelings, the emotions, the strength … the inspiration … to let him go. I wanted him to live. To be here to read this today.
So here we are. He’s gone, certainly not forgotten, but we have to move forward in our lives, don’t we? Don’t we deserve inspiration? Love? Relationships? Empowerment?
I know I do. We all do.
So, I will try to get back on track. I was afraid to change for fear of losing my connection to Christopher through food, wine, friendships. But then it occurred to me yesterday that he’s still in everything I do – and he deserves that place in my life – in this blog.
Lots of love to those who stood by me throughout this process and for those who have encouraged me to write again. I have a handful of draft posts almost ready for publication. You’ll read and see my love for Adolfo and Ron in their new space, Primitivo. You’ll experience Shaya, a Chef and culture fast after my heart. You’ll experience Maine, in not so much of its lobstah glory. You’ll experience Brussels, Chimay … and all of my friends that I love. But most of all, you’ll experience me again. Or better yet, I will experience me again, and you’ll come along for the ride. Are you ready?
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